the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
