what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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