I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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