Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So much rum. So many feels.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
