can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
