I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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