she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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