i barfeds in our rink
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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