i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
