that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
last night I used snow as a chaser
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
