In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
