this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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