Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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