I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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