Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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