Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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