I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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