she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize