Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
