ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
