Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
