At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
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PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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