I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I intend to get homeless drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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