even my farts smell like vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
