You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
vagina is talking i cant
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
