so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
