Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize