I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
