can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
