Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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