Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
