I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
