I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize