i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
