I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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