Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize