You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
