Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
