Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
