i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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