Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
