Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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