i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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