he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
