I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
