My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
