Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this will be a night to untag.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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