when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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