I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
