how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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