yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
