i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
