All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
