Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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